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The cockroach

Have you ever been afraid of the visit of an insect or animal in your life? It happened to me not so long ago!

A few weeks ago I got for the first time in my life visited by a cockroach at home. Not just one, I saw at least 2 of them over several days which made me panic and think there might be even more…

Having grown up in a Northern country I was surprised by my reaction to these insects. When seeing them for the first time I noticed two things: one part of me that was panicking, almost hysterically reacting to them as if I had learnt somewhere in the past that this is something to be afraid of - and another part that was rather curious, looking at the insect, its colour, long antennae, and was wondering why I/we create such a fuss around them… schizophrenic, right! 

Sharing it with different people around me brought me some peace of mind, as I noticed that not everyone living here on the island was considering them as something to be afraid of. So I relaxed a bit and became curious:

If each animal (their characteristics, their behaviour) can show us something, what is the message of the cockroach?

The answer came to me a few weeks later on a late-night walk back home… I was sharing with my partner some thoughts or insights I had about myself, about an area of my life where I keep myself small and unnourished, staying in situations that I actually don’t want any more, when I noticed a little cockroach in the street entering into the light of a street lantern. 

I stopped and looked at it. 

It was there in full sight as if saying hello, just showing itself. My partner stopped as well having been listening patiently so far, and we both looked at the cockroach moving back into the shadow. At this moment I felt in my whole body what I discovered earlier today: this pattern of staying in the shadow, enduring, and not nourishing myself. Like magic, as if it was somehow connected to the characteristics of this insect. 

Back home I did a quick research online and I found out that these insects are the kings of endurance, they can live months without food, and survive in the harshest circumstances. They are nocturnal, they feel comfortable in the dark, in the shadow. Hence there it was, in my face, this beautiful little insect I was so afraid of was basically telling me ‘look at your shadow, at the situations you endure, where you don’t provide yourself with the right nourishment…’ Magical... and confronting!

 I finally had to acknowledge that it was true, while I was able to endure certain situations even for a long time, I also wanted to get out of it and step into the light. I finally felt some encouragement to do so! I’m still working on feeling more comfortable having these little creatures around here and there, but now when they visit me, they remind me of this important message. 

And you? Are there areas in your life, shadow parts, that need to be looked at so that you can step out into the light? Are there any animals, insects, or plants that are repeating their visits to you? 

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